Memorial Day should cause us to REMEMBER!

Tomorrow America celebrates Memorial Day. For the most, we use this day to celebrate and honor the lives of the many soldiers who have served our country and are now deceased.  However, we also use this day to spend time with family and friends at cook-outs, the beach, the pool or simply resting before returning to work the next day.  I think all of the above are wonderful choices, but regardless of the activity you decide to do this Memorial Day, I want to encourage you to remember! Remember? Yes, remember the life lessons that those whom you cared about taught you while you were young! Ask yourself, would they be proud of the life and legacy you are leaving/living?   Remember how decisions you have made in your life have altered it for your good or bad and make a choice to learn from the lessons!  Remember, from this point forward, to always pray and check with God about the decisions you make in your life!  Remember that it is never too late to try something new! Remember that if you are living today, you still have a God given purpose to fulfill!  Remember what you need to remember that will help you get back on the narrow path serving God wholeheartedly!  Remembering where you are now and where you came from can position you to make better decisions in the present and set you up for better tomorrow!  So, whatever you do this Memorial Day, REMEMBER and for those who are deceased, we remember you, love and thank you for being who you were in our lives!

I Can See The Light!

A few months ago I wrote about the pain and hurt that I was experiencing due to various situations taking place in my life.  On top of all the pain, I fell hard, hit my “rock bottom”.  I found myself in a place that I never thought I would return again.  Even my faith in God was wavering. I felt alone (although that was just a feeling and not reality) and I was not sure God could forgive me for everything that I thought, believed, or simply did.   However as I write this blog, I can honestly say with God’s help, I am climbing out of the pit I was in and truly praise God for I can now see the light!  Does this mean the situations(s) have changed? No, not in the natural, but by faith, they have! What does this mean exactly? Well, it means that I have not seen the manifestation of all of my prayers answered yet, but I believe that God has already worked out every situation in my life. Thus, because I believe, my faith is also rebuilding and I needed that to happen more than anything else.
Recently, I prayed and asked God to reveal some things about someone in my life and He did just that. What I found out hurt me as well, but this time I felt a pain of relief. It was what I needed to hear to make some of the changes I needed to make in my life.   Because of the message I received from the Lord, I am now able to move forward…in freedom!  I also asked God for guidance about the business that He has given me and I am so excited about the next step!  Some of you will be surprised about the transition that is taking place with regards to my music, writing, and speaking, but for years I did what others “suggested” or “told” me to do and did not follow my heart. I would write about life experiences, life, love, pain, happiness and if it wasn’t gospel or Christian based, I would just put it to the side. Well, no more! Fear is gone and I finally understand that it does not matter what others may think about what I am doing. God has gifted me with a way to help people and I want to share all of the gifts and talents He has given me. So stay tuned!!!!
In closing, All I can say is it feels good not to shed a tear every time I think about the memories, hopes, and promises of people(friends, family, significant others etc.) who said they would always be in my life and are no longer present. It feels good to believe that God is changing (or has already changed) my employment situation and that my business is thriving! It feels good to no longer carry the burdens that I was carrying (and should not have been carrying in the first place). Not only am I out of the box (see my March blog post) I am no longer keeping God in a box!  He is not limited to my finite mind!  He is so much bigger than I can ever think or imagine.  He has gifted me to do some amazing things, so I have made up my mind to finally do just that!

You may be asking, how did this happen? How did I get to this point in my life?   Three things:

1)       Remained patient.  I had to realize that  no matter how difficult the situation(s) may seem, the tide with turn eventually. Things can only remain “bad” for some time, eventually “good” will come.  There is truly a season for everything. I am living in my reaping season!

2)      Changed my thought process. This is vital. If your thoughts don’t line up with the word of God and what He says about you, you will never achieve all that God has for you. Thinking and seeing yourself as God sees you (regardless of your past)  takes practice and maybe some time, but it can happen. Speak the word of God (Bible scriptures) over your life and watch what difference it makes.

3)      Never stopped praying! No matter how bad or how deep I was in my mess, I continued to pray to God about my situations. I knew that He was the only one who could really restore hope and restore me. He is the hope of my salvation!

I hope this helps you to be victorious in your own situation(s)! God is not like man, He loves and cares for us and will not leave us no matter what.  Invite Him into your mess, your situation, your life today and you too can see the light!

Happy Mother’s Day to all Mothers, but to those who still want to be called Mommy...

I have a lot of friends who want/desire to be mothers. Many are saved Christian, God fearing married women. They have great jobs so finances are not an issue, but for whatever reason, they cannot or do not have children [yet].  I can only imagine what it feels like to desire to have a child and not be able to do so.  I cannot personally relate to anyone in this situation, but I can say that I never thought I would be this age without a husband and a child.  Friday, May 18^th I will be 39, still single(never married, no children) and not very many options in sight. Of course, I date, but that is all it has been so until I meet a man who wants to commit to me in marriage, I have no plans of bringing a child into this world.  Nevertheless, as I reach 1 year closer to age 40, I think about having children more than I ever did before in my life.  I sometimes wonder if those women I know, their stories, will be my story. I wonder if I even want to birth a child at this age.  Doctors say that there are more chances of complications for women over 40 to have children(although more women are having healthy babies over this age at rapid rates now).   The truth is, I don’t know how I feel about this.  Being almost 60 years old when my child graduates high school is not the vision I had for my life, but you see, that’s just it. It might not be my vision, but God knows. He knows me better than I know myself. It is when I come to terms with this thought, that I am encouraged.  He knew I would not be married at age 38. He knew that there were some things that I still needed to learn about myself. He knew that there were some things from my past that I still needed healing from in order to be whole for my husband (whoever he may be :). Knowing this brings me peace. Then I am reminded that there really is nothing impossible with/for God. If I am supposed to have a child after age 39, then I will do just that. If God, who is not a respecter of persons can give Sarah, Hannah, and Elizabeth a baby (who were either old and/or barren until God blessed their wombs with children) and Mary(who was a virgin) a baby, Why can’t he do the same thing for you or I?  He can but everything is done and will be done in His time. Until then, I may not be a mother by birth, but I have cared for, nurtured, and shared my wisdom with so many children whenever given the opportunity. I am sure you have done the same. I am not sure what the future holds. Only God knows that, but I have resolved in my spirit that He is sovereign. I may get married and birth my own child/children, become a step-mother to my husband’s child/children, or adopt. I may not have a child/children at all, but whatever the outcome is, I want God's purpose in my life to be fulfilled. He knows my deepest desires and if I am in His will, I won't pray anything that is against that. Thus, my desires will be granted according to His word. I pray that you find comfort in knowing that God knows what’s best for you and he also says he’ll give you the desires of your heart. He is able to do that…never stop believing and seek Him for answers to the deepest desires of your heart and in case you have not heard it today Happy Mother’s Day, mommy!

What is a Real Mother? http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/past-to-present/id82554992

Healthy Emotional Boundaries

1SingingLady: The mission of Gilliam VOCALS, Inc. is to to use the performance, literary, and communication arts to  uplift, encourage, and enhance the lives of people who have been emotionally or physically hurt. Keeping this in mind, we want to help as many people as possible transition from their Past to Present by learning from others. This week Mignon K. Middleton answers the question : What is your Past to Present Testimony?

Mignon K. Middleton

Diligence Coaching & Marketing, LLC

http://TheDiligenceCoach.com

Mignon K. Middleton: "I Used to Let Other People's Emotions & Needs Control Me..."

If someone close to me was hurting or in need I felt like it was my responsibility to do whatever I could to alleviate their pain or trouble. I felt guilty if I didn't move on their behalf. I couldn't say "No" to other people's needs and I ended up putting myself in situations that were detrimental to my own well being.

One of my wake up calls was when I observed that when the shoe was on the other foot, other people didn't respond to me the same way that I responded to them. I realized that they weren't willing to put themselves in a situation that was detrimental to them just to help me. They didn't allow my negative emotional state to cause them to run to my rescue or interfere with their emotional well being or livelihood. It made me angry to realize that after all that I had sacrificed I wasn't given the same "loyalty" in return. But the truth is that they were actually being healthy! I started to understand that even giving and helping can come out of an unhealthy place.

"Now I Realize That Healthy Love Has Boundaries..."

I learned that I needed to establish Healthy Emotional Boundaries that protected me from compromising my own well being. It was hard at first, but I learned how to empathize with people without taking on their emotions. It also keeps me from being an enabler by jumping to rescue for people at times where they need to take responsibility for themselves. I had to step back and realize that the same God that kept and protected me was more than able to do the same in other people's lives. I don't have to feel like I'm anyone's only hope! We should always have compassion and help people to carry their burdens in life, but we have to also know our own personal limitations and not feel guilty for it. 

1SingingLady: I agree that healthy emotional boundaries are necessary in life. Nevertheless, establishing them have proven difficult for some.   However, if we truly want to be the best we can be, we have to be willing to set boundaries in every area of our lives.  If our emotions are not healthy we are not the only ones who are affected, those we love are effected too.  Taking the time to set healthy emotional boundaries is important!

Thank, you for sharing your testimony Mignon and I am glad you made your transition from the Past to Present!

Please view Mignon's website for more information about her company.

Do you have a testimony to share?  You don't have to have your own company or business to do so.  All of us have pasts and if you are willing to share your past experience so that someone else can be healed, I want to speak to you.  Please contact me at info@gilliamvocalsinc.com with your name, contact info and your response to the question, "What is your Past to Present Testimony?"

Introducing 1SingingLady Interviews…What's Your Past to Present Testimony?

So since Spring has arrived and I am making several changes in my life, I have decided to add interviews to my blog for a while.  Many of you who have followed my company, Gilliam VOCALS, Inc., for a while know that I used to sponsor an annual conference entitled Past to Present.  Well, in the future, I would like to start a radio show with the same title, but until then one of the most valuable lessons I learned through sponsoring this conference is that people can be helped through the testimonies of others.  Thus, I will be interviewing people who  I have met over the years that seek to make a difference in people's lives.   Keeping in mind the mission of the corporation which is to use the performance, literary, and communication arts to  uplift, encourage, and enhance the lives of people who have been emotionally or physically hurt, I will be asking people what is their Past to Present experience.  Please note, although, I am a counselor, the statements read within the blog are the opinion of those expressed only.  I hope that all who read these blog posts are uplifted, encouraged, and inspired by the testimonies of each person willing to share their story!  

Do you have a testimony to share?  You don't have to have your own company or business to do so.  All of us have pasts and if you are willing to share your past experience so that someone else can be healed, I want to speak to you.  Please contact me at info@gilliamvocalsinc.com with your name, contact info and 1 response to the question, "What is your Past to Present Testimony?"

Spring Is Here And I Am Coming Out Of "My" Box...

So it has been over a month since I have written anything on my blog (I must do better about that), but there has been so much going on in my life. I got to a point where I was so stressed that I had a severe acne break-out on my face (bad enough to go to the dermatologist and be prescribed antibiotics and a topical cream and all the acne is still not gone)! I was depressed that it had been almost 9 months and I still could not find a full time job (or even part time job for that matter) with benefits. What hurt the most was that all of a sudden I found myself dealing with strained relationships. Friends who said they would be there for me, didn’t have time for me. I was alone in every since of the word, or at least that is what it felt like to me. I realize that I did have friends who cared, but I was so “out of it” most of the time, that I was focused more on my hurt and less on giving God praise(although I never stopped praying or reading/studying the Bible) in the midst of these painful circumstances. This led me to make some very interesting, yet complicated decisions (I may share some of this information at a later date). Some of the decisions I am quite proud of, while several others, I am not and I felt a lot of remorse and guilt. I knew better than to think, do, say…but I was not thinking, doing and saying better, so to speak. What I will say now is that all of the decisions I have made lately have led me to grow, mature, and change in areas I thought I was "ok"... This growing process reminds me of Spring. Spring is the start of new beginnings and during my Spring 2012 I am definitely starting anew and at the same time coming out of my box.... Although I am still praying and searching for a full time employment with benefits, I have decided to make some changes. I apply even more than I ever did before…and now I believe I will have a job/career that I like, not just settle for whatever comes my way. I was able to be re-hired from my old job temporarily and I am thankful for that. I am not worried about what will happen next, I have to trust God, He knows this is not a permanent position, so since He shall supply all my needs… (Philippians 4:19). I am trusting Him to do just that. I have stopped stressing (well I do not stress as much, I am still working on this), about things I cannot control. I am also making some other changes. All that I have experienced, every decision made, God already knew about, so I believe it will all work together for my good (Romans 8:28). This year, Gilliam VOCALS, Inc. is not sponsoring 4th Friday's Praise Festival. We are focusing on Celebrate Life which will take place in September during suicide prevention month to help educate the community about the symptoms of depression in order to prevent suicide. The one thing that is different about his is that since I don't have any monthly concerts to organize, I have decided to sing more. I have joined The Future is Now Tour featuring Ason. Haelo, Phresh Air, Drumma Boy, and True Light Band are also ministering on the tour and Coy Lasone is the host. If you are interested in booking the tour, please visit the following link www.futureisnowtour.com This is a big deal for me, because for almost 3 months, it seemed (and was) like I was only singing(and attending) for funerals. March 17th, was only the 2nd time that I sang since September 2011 for something other than a funeral! I sang one of my songs, One and ministered to myself! You can view the video of me singing it at the Truth and Love Bible Church 2nd Anniversary Service by clicking on the following link www.youtube.com/onesinginglady . March 24th, I was honored to sing at the Posse 4 Christ 10th year anniversary concert. I used to sing with them years ago, so it was nice to be there to celebrate with them. Next week I will be the MC and sing at the 2nd Annual Mother Daughter dinner hosted by M and W Excursions held in Waldorf, Md. There is nothing like being asked to return as a host or singer at an annual event! To say the least, I am grateful! I was hurting so much that I didn’t even feel like singing sometimes. I f you know me, you would know that that is not good at all! I was still praying, but deep down, I was so discouraged . I found myself more focused on the hurt and pain, and less on the reason I sing= Jesus! As winter turned to spring, I began to find joy and follow my passion(s) again... and am happy to be singing again. I am standing on Isaiah 43:19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert(King James Version). I know God is doing a new thing in me! This past week I had the opportunity to be mentioned/interviewed in two different articles. The DC Gospel Music section of the Examiner (March 25, 2012) written by Sarah Hearn about the 10 year anniversary of Posse 4 Christhttp://www.examiner.com/gospel-music-in-washington-dc/posse-4-christ-celebrate-ten-years-ministry-with-gospel-party and DC Gospel News Update E-Zine http://www.tehillahent.com/eBlast/DCGNU12/ (Volume 11 March 27, 2012) written by Andrea Williams. I hope you will take the time to read the articles and visit the websites and my youtube page to check out what is springing forth as I continue to come out of my box. All in all, things are progressing. I am growing, learning, and plan to continue doing so. I know I speak about hurt alot, but this is just a season. As you read my blog, take what you need and spit out the bones, but more importantly, watch what God does in my life. Seasons change and mine is changing! This feels good....I am glad spring is here!

Believing Again... brings relief!

I have been reading James Allen's book, As a Man Thinketh... I read this book a few years ago, but this time I am learning something different about myself. If the theory of the book, which is based off of the scripture in Proverbs 23:7 As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he... is correct, I have to admit that where I am at this point in my life is due to my thought process! Talk about a blow to the ego. I am in the situation I am in, because I wasn't thinking as I should? The more I read, the more I understand what this scripture and the author was saying in his book. It is so interesting that the power of our thoughts can cause us to live in a reality that we did not exactly desire.... Mine, although subconsciously, seem to have placed me in the position I am in and I no longer want to be in that place. I am learning that if I truly want things to change, I have to believe again. You see, as a minister, counselor, and just all around encourager, it is easy for me to "assume" the role and pray for you, believe for you, but not as much for myself. This is pretty much due to the fact that I always seemed to have the worst possible situations happen to me! Wait until you read my autobiography and you may very well agree with this statement. Nevertheless, when you have been constantly hurt, or told negative things, or had negative, hurtful things done to you, it can make you believe that is supposed to be your reality... the way it is. One problem with this is that I am a Christian! Therefore, instead of believing that I, too, could have all God wants for me. I listened to the lie...and adapted them, especially when it came to 2 certain areas in my life (which I won't mention at this time). The truth is, as a child of God, that should have never be the case. 2 Corinthians 10:5-6 says, "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 16 And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled." King James Version (KJV) Clearly somewhere, amongst all of the "darts" being thrown at me, all of the pain, disappointment, job loss, death, relationship issues, etc. I "forgot" to cast down imaginations... Well! Now, I have relief. I believe again! Whole heartily I believe that God can do the same for me that I believe He can do for others. More than ever, in the midst of everything that is taking place in my life at this moment, I choose to believe! Where I am now, is not my final destination. God wants the best for his children. I am one of them, so as I believe again, I am also re-building my faith. Since adapting this mindset again, I have seen God do some miraculous things in my life. Each day gets easier, my load is lighter because I am choosing to give Christ my burdens. I may still cry, but crying is cleansing. I may also laugh and laughter is good for the soul. I am changing. You have no idea what a relief this is, or do you? Stay tuned, you are going to want to know the specific things that God is doing in my life....

Artistic+hurting=???

Being artistic, sometimes I feel like the darts of the entire world are aimed directly at me! Artists are the ones gifted with painting a picture through mediums (art, acting, music, poetry, dance, etc.) for those of you who were not given that ability. You watch, you listen, but many times have no idea of the depth of joy and/or pain we experience to get through the process. What you may not know is that artists often appear as if all is well, but if you really get to know us, you may be surprised how we were even able to tell the stories we do through our various forms of art. The last few months for me have been full of joy and pain. I have found myself in a place I'd never thought I would be and I am hurting. This is difficult because although I am sharing it socially on my blog, I can't share specifics with anyone else at this time. There are some who know bits and pieces, but for the most part it is just me and God....and yes, He is enough, but can I be honest? I don't really like going through this wilderness season lonely. Rest assured I will make better decisions, learn from every mistake/choice and be more careful about what I do and don't share with others. Things are changing for me even as I type! Everything I desire is on its way and the struggles-all of them-end here, today! I am sure there will be plenty of songs, poems, that will come forth because of the last season I experienced. I am looking forward to coming out on the other side! I would love to hear your feedback or encouragement as I start the next season of my life. Watch out world, #darts are now reflected...here she comes! Better than ever! Each day I am praying and believing for better while striving to move toward all God has for me. #Notgoingbacktothewaythingsusedtobe

Maximum Marriage (Dedicated to all of my married and single friends...)

So it's a new year, and the thing that has been on my mind alot has been relationships. Many of my friends have confided in me about the struggles in their marriages, told me about their divorces and the desire to get married again at some point and not wanting to make the same mistakes, etc. Now, it may seem strange to those of you reading this that so many confide in me about their marriages or marital issues. I can understand why you may feel that way because clearly, I have not had the same experiences that they have shared. However, I do have experience with family and marriage counseling throughout my counseling career, but the most important thing I think I do is-listen! Sometimes, that is all a person needs. This is because often times, we already know what we should do, the mistakes we made. We have cried and prayed, but just need another impartial human ear to listen to us as we worked out our issues. Btw-we all have issues! I will be 39 years old this year and never thought I would still be single, but I am :-o There is nothing I can do about that. I have no idea when when I will get married or when my husband will "find me" as the Bible states in Proverbs 18:22. New International Version (©1984) He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. New Living Translation (©2007) The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD. English Standard Version (©2001) He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. New American Standard Bible (©1995) He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD. King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.) Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. I think you get the point-lol I still want to get married. Lord knows, I am praying it is not much longer. Of course, "longer" is relative because more than anything, I want to go through the relationship process as God leads. At any rate, since I don't have "personal marriage experience" and in light of the recent discussions with my friends, I have decided to read various books about relationships, marriages, etc. so that when I do get married, I will be well on my way to becoming the best wife, friend, helper/helpmeet(Genesis 2:18) to and for my husband. I want to learn all that I can prior to getting married. I realize that a book can't teach you everything, but I think it is a good start :) Years ago, I saw a book in my mom's library called Maximum Marriage by Tim Timmons, copywritten in 1976 and 1983. I am not sure why, but I asked her if I could have the book, but did not start reading it until last week. I know what you might be thinking, that is a long time ago! Yes, it is, but the information in this book is priceless! I have learned so much while reading it and pray that I recall some, if not all of this information when I have the opportunity to get married myself. There are several tidbits that I have found interesting, but one that I really love is "Loving another person always involves face-to-face confrontation. To avoid the pain and uneasiness of confronting in a love relationship is not to love at all!" p. 110 I couldn't of said it better myself. I believe that confrontation is not bad, it is necessary in any relationship. It is the manner in which you communicate the issues you are confronting that makes the difference. I really think that anyone who is trying to improve their marital relationship or wants to learn more about becoming a better spouse when they are married should purchase and read this book. Here is a link from Alibris.com where you can buy a used copy for as low as $.99 http://www.alibris.com/search/books/qwork/4245662/used/Maximum%20Marriage Wishing you all well as you improve your relationships and succeed in having a Maximum Marriage!

Time to live in REALity...

Last year during this time I wrote a small recap of various things that have happened to me during the course of the year. This year, I am asking you to read all of my blogs (I usually only write 1 blog a month) if you want to know my thoughts for 2010. Instead, I just wanted to encourage everyone to live in reality! Yes, reality. Accept what needs to be changed, but don't stop there, CHANGE it!! Too many of us have lived with lies attached to our existence. Those lies have not only hurt us, but those who love and care about or for us. If something can't be done or you would rather not see it take place in your life, say so and/or do something about it. TRUTH always reigns supreme. Life lessons sometimes require difficult choices and decisions. With that said, I wish you the best life ever. Enjoy these last few days of 2011 and make 2012 more exciting and purposeful than any other year of your life. Remember, I love you, but more importantly, God loves you!